The Broken Horses
by Scar13tt-Ivy Lochary
Summary: The story of two people's intwertwining lives
1. 1 September's Sorrows

**1. September's Sorrows**

_I'm sorry for the iron shoes we nailed to you then left you in the rain alone._

She's been here for two months, the lonely girl in my year. She's always alone except when the blonde Goth girl is with her, I don't remember her real name but everyone calls her Tristis. But that girl, she's so... weird. It's like she doesn't know how the world works. She doesn't behave like the other girls. She sits alone in the corner at lunch with the same lunch everyday; crisps, a fruit, and what looks like balls of jell-o and she always talks to herself. I don't know what her problem is. I've heard rumours though.

Some say she's always moving because she killed someone. Others say she's escaped from a mental asylum. I honestly don't know what to believe about her other than the fact that she's got issues. I mean she'd probably be cute if she wouldn't be so anti-social. Not Zara cute, but then again, Zara's amazing. Tall, hot, and smart, what more could anyone want. Oh crap she's gunna catch me staring. But anyway, this girl is kinda small with red hair a big and really dark eyes. She is shy but of course a temper to go with her hair if you push her far enough which people do all the time. I'm not sure why people hate her so much, it's not her fault she doesn't know how to be normal.

After the bell rings for the end of school I start walking home. Its starting to get dark and the clouds are rolling in for a rain shower. I turn onto a back road and see the girl about to cross the road. She scans and listens and begins to walk on her toes across. Suddenly a car comes speeding forward and she stops in fear. "Move!" I yell. She can't move, she's petrified and the car isn't going to stop. I start running towards her but its too late. It hits her and she's thrown to the ground with a sickening crunch and a thud. The car still doesn't stop; it keeps going even faster like my pulse.

She's covered in blood and she isn't breathing. There are tears streaming down her face but she isn't conscious. I take her mobile and dial 999 in a panic, "Hello, what service do you need?" the operator asked monotonously. "There was an accident, she needs an ambulance. He drove so fast, she couldn't move... he wouldn't stop. She's not breathing. Oh God she's dead isn't she. I should've done something..." against my will I start crying. "Young man I need you to tell me where this happened." How can she be so calm at a time like this? She's either dead or dying and I'm freaking out. "The back street off the main street in Virginia, please hurry."

I look down at her, now I realise how small she really is. Her big, dark eyes flutter open slightly and she groans. Her eyes meet mine and she moves her hand to touch mine and I hold it. "You..." she says weakly then goes limp and her eyes close again. I've got her blood down my shirt. Her blood is quite literally on my hands. It's my fault. The rain starts pouring and I stand up and run. I run all the way home and up to the bathroom to change and wash the blood away, but I keep seeing her eyes. I hear an ambulance go past. It's her in it, I know, but is she still alive? She needed someone there and I left her. Oh God what've I done...

I hate it here. I hate it everywhere. They all hate me even more. I get weird looks everyday and I'm sick of it. Why can't more people be like Tristis... she loves me even though I don't understand the world, even though I walk funny? I'm not that high functioning but living in a world where no one understands my problems is hard. Most people walk past and jeer at me; others act like I don't exist. There is one boy though... he doesn't look mean, just pitying. He watches me in the cafeteria. I don't know him and I'm too scared to talk to him incase I insult him. I can't help be blunt. No. no more being scared I'm gunna walk up to him and say... "Hi. I like your green eyes, they're shiny... no that wont work. So what's it like to be weirdly tall? No he might be insulted, ugh." I drop my head in my hands as a pair of oafish boys walk past and laugh at me saying things like, "I think she lost the argument with herself," and, "She cant even stand herself." Its true, I really can't.

The bell rings and clouds roll in from the west bringing with them a potential downpour. I want to get home before that happens but the groceries wont buy themselves, nor will Tristis buy them for me not with eminent rain. I walk down and turn onto one of the many back roads and scan for traffic.

All clear... I walk across slowly as I always do... I hear a car coming... It's coming fast... I can't move... I was nailed to the ground... I can see the car and I look at its licence plate... 02 MH 7130... I hear someone yell at me to move but I can't... I feel my ribs crack and black out before hitting the ground...

Sometime later I begin to feel again... The rain is coming down on my face and I can feel my body again... I let out a groan and open my eyes... It's him... that boy... I look into his green eyes and reach out to touch his hand... Is this real...? He's holding me... I really need someone to stay with me... I'm so scared... I want to tell him... I open my mouth and say "You..." but that's all that'll come out... Everything fades to black and I can't feel anything anymore... The sirens get closer but he is gone... One word... I said one freaking word and I managed to insult him... I should've stayed quiet...

Next thing I know people are grabbing me... I scream loudly and want to thrash out but I can't move... I feel them stick the IV in my arm and put me on the gurney... They work on me all the way to the hospital but I'm in and out of consciousness... I finally wake up in a white room with wires stuck into me... My clothes were replaced by a hospital gown... A nurse comes in and tells me that the surgery was successful but I'm going to need physical therapy for a while...

I can't stop thinking about her. I go through entire classes not knowing what's going on. The world is blurred around me. She's haunting me. That pale face and those big, pleading eyes. And I abandoned her because I was scared. Why didn't I do anything? God I'm such an idiot. The story is on the news when I get home and mum asks why I'm so quiet; I just go up to bed and tell her I'm sick. I'm sick alright, sick of being an idiot. I drift off thinking about her. She's in my dreams. She stays there every night. Is she even alive still? I need to find out what happened to her...

It's been weeks. Tristis won't talk to anyone about the girl. No one besides me cares though. Why should they, they didn't see her small body bruised and bloodied in their arms. She's not on the news any more but I saw her picture in the paper. It was old; she must have been about 14. Her pale face was rosier and she was beaming but her eyes are unforgettable, I knew it was her. She was in a different uniform and she had her hair in pigtails. She was really cute.

I think back to the days I saw her before the accident. Was she really that weird? No, she wasn't. She was alone. It was simple as that. How much rejection has she been through throughout her life, the hurt and abuse took its toll. She wasn't weird or sinister looking. She was trapped and alone, no one wanted to understand. If I had a second chance to meet her... I'd care, I'd tried to understand. I buy the paper and bring it home under my jacket. I cut out the pictures and pin them on my wall. I don't want to read the article that talks about what happens and how she managed to memorise the plate number and they got the man who did it but I don't care. It doesn't say she's alive still. I know her name now but that just makes it worse. Poor Kat... She was in critical condition, and I abandoned her. I'm despicable...

I had another dream about her. I used to only have dreams like this one about Zara. We were lying outside together. The grass was so green and the sky was blue and the sun shined on us. Her hair was bright and she was beaming just like in the picture. I had my arms around her and was gazing into her eyes. She giggled cutely and whispered something that I couldn't make out and I moved in to kiss her, and then I woke up. It was weird. It made me feel so... good. Whenever I dream about Zara or anyone else it feels whatever, but this made me feel warm.

I still blur through life though. She's always on my mind. Every time I talk to someone I'm looking into her eyes. Every time I listen to music I hear her voice. A voice so rarely heard but sounded sweeter than honey and softer than a cloud. I'm getting so weird. I don't know what she's done to me. I don't even care anymore. She's all I can think about. She's all I want to think about. I have to see her again. I have to.

I walk through the halls like a zombie. I feel numb and empty. I wonder if she ever felt this way. She probably did, no one ever reached out to her. They just didn't care about her, nor do they now. No one even cares that she hasn't been seen in weeks. Why didn't I do something when I could? I was too wrapped up with Zara, thinking that Kat was nothing but a freak. I can't stand myself, I should have done more.

As I burn on the inside I bump in to someone in the hall. I say sorry and start walking off until they grab my shoulder. I turn around and Zara smiles at me. She keeps asking me questions about my day and stuff. Small talk isn't really my strong point. I zone out and think about Kat then realise she asked a question. I nod and say maybe then walk away again. She didn't seem happy with my response, which before would have worried me for days but now I don't care. I've got to see Kat. I can't get her out of my head. I need to.


	2. 2 October's Orange Eyes

**2. October's Orange Eyes**

_October's got those orange eyes, but somehow I still lost sight. When you lifted the lid off of my pumpkin head and kissed me goodnight... _

For more than a month I've been out of school. I do my homework hidden away and Tristis brings my groceries and drives me to physical therapy. I can walk again and it doesn't hurt as bad. My ribs are /healed up and my head is better. But my back is a problem. I was born with a curved back but the accident made it worse. Doctors don't know why it did nor do they know how to fix it. It reminds me of a line in my favourite song "_Oh God that curve in your spine, that question mark of doctor's sighs."_ It's only really obvious when I wear anything tight.

The doctors say I can start back to school after midterm break. I already took my exams from home. Tristis want me to come to the pumpkin festival with her. "It's a tradition in Virginia. People from all over Ireland come here for the pumpkin festival. We can go to the costume party! No one will know it's you. This is a great opportunity for you Kitty." She seemed as excited as a five year old, and I did owe her... "Okay, okay. I'll go with you. But you gotta help me pick a costume that won't show my back." She jumped for joy and pulled me out of my chair so we could pick costumes and I groan, wondering what exactly I had done and what she would do to me.

"Matt, c'mon, I don't know why you've been down but this is your chance man. The costume party prize is ours this year, I'll be the horse you be the horseman. Trust me, it can't go wrong. And, I heard Zara is gunna be there to kiss the winners." I'm not listening to him. My mates have been on me for weeks about being down. I look up and him, "Who?" I ask. "Zara, dude. The hottest girl on Earth. And we're in for a kiss each from her. Don't try to play it cool I know you like her. Rumour has it she likes you too." I think back to all the rumours people spread about Kat and bristle.

"You can't trust rumours. They're always wrong at some point."

"Man, what's wrong with you. Before you would have jumped at this but now... you need help. I don't know what happened but you're different."

"If I say I'll go along with you will you go away?" I ask wearily.

"Yup, Seeya dude, tomorrow night at 9 remember." He leaves the costume on the bed and leaves.

Mum calls me down for dinner. I'm too lost in thought to really eat though. I can't even tell if its fish or steak, nor do I care. I go straight to bed and fall asleep looking at Kat's pictured. I am almost sure by now that she's dead. I feel weird every time I look at them. Its not just guilt anymore though. It makes me feel warm inside to see her smiling face. Jeez I've gone soppy. I drift off and have the same dream I had before but this time I really got to kiss her. I felt like fireworks and I woke up right after. "Goddammit, I've got a crush on a dead girl!" I got dressed and hooked up my Xbox to kill time until 8:00, I still feel just as numb as ever, and not just because of the games.

Tristis stayed at my house, as she did quite often. I was well enough to make dinner but we ordered curry anyway. We sat in the bedroom and ate it while she told me about the things that go on at the pumpkin festival. "On the first night, tonight, there's a parade and then there's a costume party. then tomorrow the town will be full of vendors and performers and rides, like all of the fairs and the same on Sunday, but on Sunday night there'll be a huge fireworks show!" she beamed. I laughed and smiled and said it sounded fun.

She fell asleep quickly after but I tossed and turned thinking about that boy. He was scared. I remember seeing it in his eyes, but he was crying too. Is it possible he was worried about me? What if... what if he left because he was scared I died? I was in his arms. What if he left because I "died" in his arms? I wish I could see him again but after what happened there's no chance he'd want to be near me. But like Tristis said, tonight no one will know who I am and everyone comes to the costume party.

We both get up and shower then Tristis gets into her costume, a black miniskirt over purple and black striped knee highs, a black shirt with a silver web on it under a cape, black boots and a broom and witch's hat. "You are possibly the dirtiest witch in history." I tease while scanning her. "No, I'm pretty sure that's Zara. Now hurry up I wanna make sure I got the right costume for you." I look at the black fabric and smile. She was the witch, and I was the black cat. I pulled the bottoms up and put my black sneakers on then looked at the shirt. I finally put it on and sigh. My curved back is obvious. I put on the cat ears and walk out to show her.

"Tris I don't think this'll work..." I tell her and turn around to show. "It's not that bad, Kat. And anyway, it's going to be dark. No one'll notice."

She paints her face green with purple lips and the she gives me a cat face. We set off and sneak behind the barriers and join the crowd at the front to watch the parade. There are dancers and musicians and these people on stilts in giant luminous costumes spinning and dancing. There were fire jugglers and it was amazing, I couldn't help but beam. Afterwards Tristis and I made our way to where the costume party was being held. Tristis signed us up for the costume couples contest and I watch the people filing in. I start breathing heavily. People may not know I'm me, but I am still me, and me is not good with people. What if I screw up? Nope, that's not an option... not when there's a possibility of seeing him again.

I haven't been able to get him out of my head. He was the only person to help during the accident. He may have left but I cant blame him, I'm hard to stand. I'm not really that important. But he stayed, and obviously he was the one who got me help. I remember his voice, and the way he held my hand. It was like he was trying to hold my life in me. He is the one who saved my life. I can't help but dream of him every night. I can NOT make a fool of myself in front of him. I sit down with a hand over my neck and start freaking out.

Tristis noticed my distress and came over with a drink for me. I scanned the crowd and looked at all the costumes. My eyes stop at a man with a pumpkin head talking to a horse and a cheerleader. Even with the pumpkin head I know it him. But he doesn't even know who I am. I'll stay away from him. I owe him at least that much. Tristis and I turn and walk away to mingle with the crowd, i.e. Tristis gets drunk and I sit in a corner away from everyone else making sure no one takes advantage of her.

After my alarm goes off at 8:00 I go take a shower then put on my costume. After, I walk into town to meet up with my horse, or should I say ass. He's waiting there in his regular clothes talking to a girl wearing very little clothing. That would be uncomfortable anywhere in October but, this is Ireland. This girl must be crazy. I go over and ask where his costume is and he says it's in his bag and he'll put it on before the party and then he turns to her and says, "Zara, you remember my friend here, don't you?"

She smiles and throws her arms around me saying of course she does. Any other time this would have been my dream come true, but my dreams have changed. I don't feel anything. I pat her on the back awkwardly and she steps back. They talk for a while more but I stay quiet. I don't really know what I ever saw in her. She isn't really that smart or cute... just showy.

When the parade starts we stand toward the front of the barriers and watch everyone go by. Zara get really close to me and shivers. I just ignore her without any sympathy. Serves her right for dressing like a stripper I guess. She announces that she is cold and I feel my mate nudging and mouthing "give her your jacket." I ignore him and take a step away from her. He steps in and takes his own advice. She thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and hangs off him for the rest of the parade. He smiles like he won a prize, honestly, he can keep it for all I care.

When it's over we shuffle over to the party and I wait for my horse to come back and claim Zara from me. I look around to see the other costumes we're up against. There's a Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie, a JackSkellington, Luke and Lea, and a witch with her black cat that looks really familiar. The witch walks over to the cat, which looks like its hyperventilating and gives it a drink. I look closely and see that the witch is Tristis. That's funny; I've only ever seen Tristis care about Kat like that...

No, it couldn't be, could it? Could it possibly be Kat? I stand up to get a better look, before I could catch her eye Zara tugs on my sleeve. "What are you looking at sweetie?" I ignore her and turn back towards the possible Kat and see them turn to walk away. Her spine was curved right where, if she was really Kat, the car had hit her full on. I try to run after her but Kane comes back and pulls me back. "Where are you off to mate? We've got a party to enjoy."

The lights dim and the dj starts playing songs. I start moving around trying to find my possible Kat. The strobe lights are flashing and I catch a glimpse of her and my heart jumps. She's standing on the edge of the crowd. I take off the pumpkin head then start towards her then realise what a mistake that would be. I abandoned her. She saw me and conveyed her need for comfort and I left while she was sleeping.

Now is the only chance I have to be close to her. There is no way she'd forgive me enough to be even friends if she knew who I was but this is a costume party. I put the head back on and walk over to her, wondering what to say to the girl who became my life without even knowing who I am...

"Hey, howsa going? Nice costume." I said deepening my voice. "Umm, it's going ok. And yourself? Oh, and thank you, you're costume is nice too." She said quietly. Her dark eyes shone as she grinned shyly. I smile and hold out my hand to her and she looks at it, then at me, then at it again.

"Would you like to dance?" I clarify. This must be what people mean when they say she doesn't understand social queues. I look at her expectantly then realise she can't see any of my facial expressions because of my stupid pumpkin head. God I'm such a retard, I think to myself and mentally face palm.

"No you aren't." she said meekly. I didn't realise I'd said that out loud. She takes my hand and I spin her. "I'm not a very good dancer so sorry." She smiles at me and my heart melts. A slower song starts and I brave up enough to pull her close to me. I put my hands on her waist and she puts her arms around my neck. I see Zara watching angrily out of the corner of my eye as Kat stands on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear region.

"I know who you are. But I don't know you're name." she looks at me deeply and smiles weakly. I freeze and shake slightly. She reaches up and pulls the pumpkin up and looks into my eyes like she did after the accident. But there is no pain in her eyes, or anger, or hatred. If anything thing it looks like, love. She places the pumpkin on the ground and stands on her toes again and puts her arms around me and kisses me. I stand there like a lemon without knowing what to do. She says goodnight and hands me my pumpkin before she starts walking away. My mind is yelling to do something and this time I listen. I reach out and grab her arm and she jumps. I pull her close and kiss her deeply. It feels so much better then in my dreams; she was so warm and soft.

It was like time stood still but we finally broke apart. Either I was drunk off of how amazing that was or I was drugged but I never would have said what I said to her. I whispered right after she pulled away. She may not have heard me but I couldn't stop the words "I think I love you" from coming out. Please God don't let her have heard me. She beams at me and looks me in the eyes and says, "I think I love you too." She kisses my cheek, puts the pumpkin back on my head and then she walks away to Tristis as I fist pump and jump in the air.

Tristis and I came first that night in the contest but that's not the reason I'll never forget it. Suddenly I, me, Kat, had someone who loved me and I loved him. For the rest of the festival we, Tristis, Matt, and I, spent our time walking around the stalls and the forest.

We went to the crepe stall and I got a fluffernutter one for each of us. It was funny to watch them try the peanut butter and marshmallow pancake. We walked around the lake and when I got cold he gave me his hoodie. He can be very cute when he wants to though he denies it. He was kind of shy, as I was, at first but we warmed up. By the fireworks display we were holding hands and laughing. I didn't think it was possible for me to make another friend besides Tristis, let alone a boyfriend. I'm no longer dreading restarting school. I am slightly worried that I am going to wake up and this is all going to be dream, but until then I shall enjoy my ray of happiness for as long as it will last.


	3. 3 November's New Breath

**3. November's New Breath**

_Should it be a thorn in my side, we never quite broke that horse, she slept in the cul-de-sac right seven miles from my front door..._

Kat's coming back to school today. I jump up early and get dressed then go to school to look for her. I look down by the lake and see Tristis smiling at a bench that seems to be singing. I walk over and see that Kat is singing in her sleep. I lean on the bench and reach down and stroke her hair. She purrs gently and I stroke her cheek. _Whack!_ She nailed me in the face then sat bolt upright. "What was that for?!" I yell at her. She starts sobbing and says she "didn't mean to it's a reflex" she doesn't really like being touched when she's not expecting it. I sit beside her and scoop her into my arms and tell her its okay. I still don't get why she's like this some times. She stops and I kiss her head and Tristis takes her hand and brings her into school and I run after.

It's strange going through school now. Instead of gazing at Zara or freaking out I'm holding Kat's hands through that halls and sit with her at lunch. I don't look at her lunch critically anymore, especially after trying the jell-o balls, they're actually quite nice. She said she'd show me how to make them some time if I wanted. Today at lunch she invited me over to her house for dinner. I asked if it was too soon to meet her parents. She just laughed quietly and looked down. "I don't live with my parents. Tristis is my cousin and she is my 'guardian' even though she's not much older, live with her own parents and quite a bit less mature," she clarifies. I agree and we meet up after school.

I walk over to the bench and sit and wait for him at our meeting point. He comes by a while later and we head off. Tristis is eating with her parents today so it'll just be us tonight. I don't like eating alone, I thought this would be a good idea but my stomach is knotted and swirling. What if I say something stupid? I already screwed up badly today without meaning to. I'll be fine, I think. I'll just make dinner and we can sit down and watch TV or something and NOT freak out.

Ten minutes later he starts trying to make conversation with me. "So, if you live this way then why were you going the opposite direction when..?" "When I got flattened because of my own human error?" I finish bluntly. "Well, I was going to put it more delicately but, yeah, I guess," he shrugged. "I just needed to get groceries. Tris was busy and told me to get them myself. Don't get the wrong idea, she takes good care of me when I need it but really I can take care of myself. They're just afraid to leave me alone..." "Why? You're able to take care of yourself aren't you?"

I close my eyes for a minute, do I trust him enough? Yeah, but now is not the time to tell him. I take his hand and he intertwines our fingers and smiles at me. I tell him we can talk at dinner and he nods. We walk up the hill towards my house and he looks out at the tiny town below and nudges me. "Wow, you can see the whole town from here, that's awesome," he smiles. "The view is better from my bedroom window actually. You can see all the way to Swiftbrook and that's, like, seven miles away." I point in its direction "I live there, the house in the front corner. Speaking of which, which house is yours?" I pull him up to the top of the hill and point towards the cul-de-sac. "That one's mine. C'mon, I'm making stew."

I open the door and we go in and I go straight to the kitchen and set up everything to start. He helps me cut the onions and carrots but I handle the rest. While it cooks we sit down in the living room to wait. We sit on the couch on turn on something funny and we start talking again. Finally he asks me what I could tell he'd been waiting to ask since we were talking earlier. "So... what is it that you weren't telling me earlier hmm?" he prods my arm. I look down and he holds my hand again. I look into his gorgeous green eyes and decide to trust him and tell him everything.

"I have many illnesses. Not just physical ones either. As a child and even now I suffered terribly from depression. I spent a lot of my life being abused in all kinds of ways. I had to change schools to get away from bullies. It was hard at first but as time went on I just became more and more numb. I was never good at making friends, later we found out that that was because of Asperger syndrome." I breathed deeply and listened for his reaction. He looked at me and sighed. "But does that mean you can't be left alone?" I squeeze his hand. "No, they don't want me to be alone because of the amount of suicide attempts I've had." He looked more shocked at this. "Why would you try to kill yourself, Kat?" He hugged me tightly.

"I couldn't understand life. Everything was a struggle, even waking up. No one cared about me, they hurt me as much as they could and no one ever stopped them, not even my parents. The only thing that ever stopped me was faith and a sprinkle of hope. I don't really trust myself any more, that's why I have Tristis, and now I have you." I lay my head on his chest and he strokes my hair for a while. He feels so warm and loving. I get up and put dinner out and we eat. It's rather awkward but we keep making jokes and changing the subject until its better. After dinner I bring him up to show him the view from my window and he looks out.

"Hey, that's my front door!" He points to a small dot in the distance. I look out and can't see more than a dot and ask if he's joking. He smiles and nods but says that it's close enough. We hang out for a while longer and talk about music and movies and other things we have in common until the sun begins to set. I pull on his sleeve and bring him out to my shed and I start to climb to the top of the roof. He climbs up behind me and lies down.

"What are we doing up here?" he asks pulling me into his arms. "Watching the sun set." I smile at him. We sit there in silence and watch the sun set. He leaves before the sun's fully gone; he still has to walk home. I wave him off at the door and he kisses my cheek and says goodnight then walks off. Minutes later Tristis pulls up comes in firing questions about how it all went and I laugh and tell her I'm going to bed.

Yesterday was awesome, but I can't believe all those things Kat told me. Well I guess I can, I mean, it's a bit obvious that she's a bit... troubled. I don't care though, I may have before but I don't. I'm going over again today, were gonna watch Shrek. It's going to be cool and I can stay later since its Friday. I can't wait. I have to though, 'because I have an epic plan to go through with first...

After school I meet her at the gate and instead of walking to her house like we planned I took her hand and we went to the Chinese takeaway. I order curry chips and rice for both of us. She seems confused but I just squeeze her hand and smile. I lead her back past the school to the lake. Jutting into the lake was a pier, I led her up the concrete steps and we sit facing each other on top and I put the food out.

"So is this how you say thanks for me making you dinner yesterday?" "Well, for the dinner, for trusting me, for loving me in general even though I'm a terrible person," he said. He must have been thinking back to the day of the accident he left me. I can see him shudder. I take his hand and I smile at him, he takes my hand and then we eat and laugh and talk about life. I can't think of many time I was much happier than this.

"Do you ever think about why things happen?" I ask him. He looks at me. He's thinking. I continue my thought, "Maybe it was for the best that you left me behind that day, I mean, things have gotten much better for us since then." He thinks a little more, then smile at me and opens his mouth. "I guess you're right, because since I did that I now know that I don't think I could ever leave you again." He leans across and kisses me and I play shove him for his corniness, if that's even a word.

When we finish he jumps down from the pier and lifts me down. He throws away the trash then takes my hand and we walk home. We stop at the top of the hill to look over the town then I unlock the door and we go in. I make popcorn and he sets up the movie then we lay on the couch. He pulls me on top of him and I put my arms over his shoulders. He wraps his arms tightly around me and I lay my head on his chest while he strokes my hair. I purr gently and he kisses my forehead. We stay like this for a long movie is great but it's late and I'm tired and I slowly start to drift off...

I am woken up by a series off clicks and flashes. I open my eyes weakly and see Tristis taking picture of us with her camera. I burrow my face back into his chest and Tristis laughs warmly. "I take it he's staying the night then." "What time is it?" I ask. "It's 1:27, too late to send him home. I'll get ye a blanket." She walks out of the room up to get a blanket. She comes back with my duvet and I thank her and curl back up to go to sleep.

I wake up before I realise I was even asleep. I thought I was dreaming the whole day. I open my eyes and see Kat nuzzled into my chest and I smile and lay there with my arms around her until she woke up. I acted like I was asleep so she didn't think I was a creeper for watching her sleep. It was about 9 when we finally got up and my phone was ringing. I answer it and its mum asking where I was. Not worried if I was kidnapped at all, just curious if I was fine. I decide to go home and plan something for us to do tomorrow. I kiss Kat goodbye and head home.


	4. 4 December's Discoveries

**4. December's Discoveries**

_Bundle up and come with me now, down the road into the burnt out barn. We could make a blanket of coats and breathe our souls into the neighbour's front yard._

It was nearly Christmas. Decorations are up all over the place. Matt came over and helped me and Tristis deck out our tree for this year, I tiny thing barely five feet high. Today, however, is the last day of school before Christmas break and Matt has another surprise for me. Although he planned it for last week he's been sick so he says he's gunna make it up to me.

I walk out of school and pull up the collar of my trench coat. I tell Tristis that dinner is in the freezer and that there are directions on how to cook it on the lid. I'm kinda worried but she'll be fine. I walk to the bench to see if he's there but he isn't. I look to the opening of the forest and see him lurking with his hands behind his back; he's looking the other way. I run and jump onto his back and we both fall forward and he turns and kisses me.

"I missed you Kittykat. Did you miss me too?" he smiled and kissed my head gently. I smile back up at him and tell him I didn't at all but he knew I was kidding. He takes my scarf and wraps it tighter around me and takes my hand to lead me into the forest. It was greyish green and, although other people might have thought all of the trees losing their leaves were depressing, it looked beautiful. The leaves that fell a few months ago covered the grass and the dirt path curved throughout the wood, covered by the evergreen trees. The sun has started setting but I have a flashlight, just in case. I jump over fallen logs and my boots land softly on the ground. Matt laughs, "You really are a cat aren't you." I meow at him and purr when he pets my head. I get closer to him and shiver, pulling my coat tighter. It's getting noticeably colder. It starts to rain, a little at first then heavier. He starts to pull me further into the wood than we had gone before. I ask where were going but he says it's a surprise.

Minutes later we're standing outside of an abandoned building that looked like a burnt out shed. He walked in and beckoned me to follow him. "This is the boat house. Don't worry, it's safe and it'll keep us out of the rain." He holds out his hand and we go in. its dark and I bring out my flashlight. He lays his coat out on the ground and we sit on it and put my coat on over us both. "So... since the rain doesn't seem like it'll be stopping any time soon, what d'you want to talk about?" he asked leaning back against the wall. "How about we play truth or dare? A timeless classic, is it not?" I laugh. "Truth or dare it is then. You first, I pick truth" he replies nudging my ribs. "Okay, is it true that... you are tall?" I ask nervously. He rolls his eyes. "Well, it's not so much that I'm tall, you're just a little bit small." I slap him over the back of the head lightly and say I choose truth. He thinks for a bit, "What's your favourite kind of food to eat then?" I look at him and laugh, "The kind I'm _not_ allergic to. Basically: meat, potatoes, and Chinese food, by the way that does include sushi. Anyway, I digress, truth or dare?" "Could ya just ask me truth for all them? I don't do dares, bad experiences." "Nope, too bad. Now that you've said that I have to give you a dare." I say grinning at him. He looks mildly startled but bravely waits for my dare.

"I dare you too... kiss me... but, you have to make my heart melt from it _and_ tell me you love me. Or else," I look at him in mock sternness. He smiles and picks me up. I squeal from shock and start laughing as he brings me outside. "What are you doing? We're going to get soaked!" He doesn't care. He spins me around and kisses me softly. Even though it's freezing and I'm getting soaked to the bone I can feel warmth spreading over my body. I pull him close and we stay there for what feels like hours and then he whispers that he loves me in my ear and I nuzzle into his chest and we go back into the boathouse. I pull off my soaked sweater and wring it out and lay it over the pump and he does the same with his shirt. I start shivering, no surprise since I'm in a vest and its freezing.

He lies down and pulls me down on top of his chest and pulls my coat over us as a blanket and he holds me tightly to warm me up. I sigh softly. "What's wrong Kittykat?" he asks and pulls me closer stroking my hair. "Nothing, it's just... I don't want this to end, but its cold and Tris'nt home."

"Well, you could come and stay with me. We can dry off our clothes too."

We put on our soaked clothes and muddy coats and walk hand in hand back to my house. I open then door and see that no one's home yet. I lead Kat up to my room and hand her a t-shirt and get clothes out for myself too. "I'm sorry, but that's all I have. It's big on me though, so it'll probably be long enough to cover you for now." She motions for me to turn around. I turn around and cover my eyes. I turn back around as she pulls the shirt down. She throws her wet clothes at me saying I wasn't supposed to peek. I bring them along with my dry clothes to the laundry room and I change in there then put everything in the dryer.

I go walk out the door and right into Kat. I tell her she better not have been peeking, not that she'd have as nice a view as I did. She looks adorable in my t-shirt, I have to admit. It's like on telly, minus the one night stand. I tell her I'm going to make dinner and she looks a little worried. I tell her not to fret and she sits on the couch. I call her in and have two bowls of noodles on the table across from each other with the lights dimmed. She giggles. I pull out her chair and she says I'm a regular gourmet and she doesn't deserve my cooking. I tell her to stop making excuses to not eat and promised my food wouldn't kill her... granted I had crossed fingers.

After we finished eating (and neither of us died), I got our now dry clothes and she started getting dressed. I covered my eyes again and I didn't peek, I swear. We lay on the couch and I hold her tightly and stroke her hair. "I love you..." she whispers softly, "but I'm so scared that I'll lose you..." I kiss her head and hold her tighter. The door opens and mum comes into the house. I sit up straight and put Kat ends up sitting beside me. Mum walks in and does a double take. I wave as she stares at us cuddling and Kat stands up to shake mum's hand and introduce herself to her. "You, brought a girl home?" she asked, mock stunned. I roll my eyes. "Yes. This is my girlfriend Kat. Kat, this is my mum." Mum seems pleased, why wouldn't she be? Kat is amazing.

They talked for a while longer then mum asked to talk to me alone. "You've been good right? Not taking advantage of my absence?" she asks. "We've been fine mum, just sitting on the couch. We're watching a film." "And then what were you going to do?" I can see this may take a while. I guess not having a girlfriend 'til now probably makes her not trust me, especially cuz of how much I sleep over; that or simply the fact that I'm a teenage guy. This is infuriating...

I sit on the couch while they talk in the kitchen. I'm kind of worried. I walk close to the door and hear him say "you don't trust her?" and her say "no" I sit on the couch. They talk on for a while, she doesn't seem too happy. He sounds frustrated. I finally hear him say loudly, "Look it won't be forever. She'll be gone soon enough. Just leave it." What does he mean? What if... he means me? What if she's making him break up with me? No. It's nothing. Everything is going to be fine. He wouldn't do that to me, no way. I'm pretty sure it'll all be okay... kinda... I think... I sit on the couch, waiting nervously. They come out finally and he says he's walking me home. I may not be able to tell emotions but I know he's cold and angry. He doesn't hold my hand. I don't know if it's because of me or not. We walk in silence. I try to talk to him but he just snaps back so I stop. We don't turn to look at the moonlit view when we reach the top of the hill. I open the door and invite him in. He leaves.

I feel all of my previous happiness slipping away. I lean forward for a kiss or a hug or some sign of affection. He turns around and walks down the sidewalk. I whisper _"I love you"_ into the breeze. He probably wouldn't have noticed even if I shouted it in his ear. I lean back against the door frame and rub my aching back. I watch him walk away. My eyes start to water and I start to slide down along the door and burry my face in my arms.

All of a sudden all the bad memories and feelings from my past flood back: the bullying, the depression, the helplessness, wanting to die. I remember each time I tried to kill myself. All thirteen times, knives, glass, guns, rope, fire, pills of any kind; they all became ways out, or so I thought. At first I wasn't sure. I didn't do much damage and hid it easily but as I grew older I got better and it was harder to hide. My parents were in denial. They just told me to shake it off, or pray about it, they acted like it was nothing. I did pray about it. The hurt still kept winning. I never really lost my faith, but my hope was gone. I changed schools five times in three years because of bullying. Now, since I'm almost an adult, they sent me to live with Tristis. I'm still bullied, especially by one girl, Zara. I don't know why she hates me so, but I never have. People just decide to not like me and to make me want to die. I guess Matt showed me his not liking me side. Tonight I discovered how much I depend on him. I cry harder and pray that tomorrow is better.

Tristis come home and picks me up and closes the door then feels my forehead. She says I have a fever and orders me to bed after Nyquil and tea. I curl up in my bed and think about what happened. I try so hard to think of happy memories but the bad ones get in the way. I try to think of his face, but the only images I see and the cold, angry looks from tonight. I cry myself to sleep and I feel like I'm fading. I dream of him, I walk over to him and try to hug him, he shrugs me off. I tell him I love him and he turns away. I see him walk over to Zara. They hold hands and kiss. He says he loves her more than he ever loved me. I wake up in a sweat and run to the bathroom and throw up. I'm not sure if it was cuz I was sick or if it was from the dream.

Kat's sick. Tristis calls and tells me what happened. I feel so horrible. I want to rush over and apologise for being a prick but mum's taking us somewhere all day. At least I can get her a Christmas present.

I'm finally over my sickness just in time for it to be Christmas Eve. I have Matt and Tris' presents wrapped and under the tree already. I look out the window and see a layer of white snow then go downstairs and make some hot chocolate. I walk her mug upstairs and place it beside her door. Then I grab and pot and a spoon and stand in front of her door. I start banging the spoon on the pot loudly screaming _The Carol of the Bells_ at the top of my lungs. I hear a thud and a groan and Tristis throws open the door rubbing her elbow and scowling. I put down the pots and pick up the cocoa and she smiles and kisses my head and takes it.

I hum Christmas carols walking down the steps and she laughs. She tells me to go get ready. I put on a Santa hat and ask, "Where are we going?" She says Dublin. We get on a bus and head up to the city. It's not quite four and the sun is already setting. The Christmas lights are going to be turned on soon. We go around to shopping centres and stores admiring the Christmas set-ups and lights. We walk down Grafton Street and watch the buskers playing under the Christmas lights. It feels like a dream, or an advertisement for family time. The sky is now dark purple and the lights stand-out well. The buskers contrast with the snow and they're carols ad the tone. It's amazing.

We got to McDonald's, a dinner of champions, and then walk back to our bus stop. After an hour long bus ride we get back into town and have to walk back in the now falling snow. I hum carols and play with the white ball on the end of my Santa hat while we walk home. When we get back Tristis unlocks the door and we go inside and stamp the snow off our shoes.

It is 2:30 am Christmas morning. Everyone is asleep but me. I crawl out of bed and go downstairs and out the door. I walk to Kat's with two presents under my arm. I walk up the hill and open the door with the spare key under the rock. I try to be silent as I put the presents under the tree and leave as quietly as I came, then head home to bed...

I wake up early and jump out of bed and run into Tris' room and jump up and down on her bed yelling, "IT'S CHRIIIIIIISTMAAASS!" as loud as possible. I pull her downstairs like a child and sit in front of the tree waiting for her. She goes to pick the first present and there's a knock on the door. I run to open it and Matt walks in with a green Santa hat holding something behind his back. "Hohoho, happy Christmas! Did ya miss me?" he smiles and holds up holly spray painted white. I roll my eyes, "I that supposed to be mistletoe?" I ask sceptically. He nods and grins and I throw my arms around him and kiss him. He looks me in the eyes and kisses me again, slowly and lovingly, and I close my eyes and he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Get a room. C'mon, break it up you two it's prezzie time!" Tristis butts in, pulling us apart. As we walk over to the tree I lean over to him and whisper, "You realise only the berries of the mistletoe are white right?" he shrugs and says they only sold fake holly and spray paint when he got into the store. I laugh and he grins and Tris and I sit down and he walks over to the back of the tree and throws a present to Tristis and sits beside me and lifts me onto his lap. "Have you been a good girl this year?" he asks jokingly. I nod and he hands me a little box. I open it and pull out a hematite bracelet and Matt takes it and puts on my left wrist. He then pulls up his right sleeve to show me the other half of the matching set.

"Don't ever take it off, okay? Keep it on your left arm and ill keep it on my right, so that no matter how far apart we are, we'll always be holding hands." I smile and hold his hand tightly and intertwine our fingers and nuzzle into his neck and he strokes my hair. Tristis joined our hug and said thank you over and over again and I look over at what she got, zombie stickers. I kiss him on the cheek and grin at him and ask, "Are you sure you aren't the real Santa?" He shrugged and I pushed him playfully and we all drank hot cocoa, opened our presents and played and hugged, almost like our own little family. I guess that's kind of what we are...


	5. 5 New Year's Nurturing

**5. New Year's Nurturing**

_Oh God, that look in your eyes, that sprung from the biblical vine waiting to return to the dirt..._

We had about 5 minutes left of the month, and of the year. We're at the lake waiting for the fireworks show that's to go off at the strike of midnight. I was kind of worried about bringing Kat because she doesn't really like being around this many people but she seems to be having fun. I saw how badly she was freaking out at the costume party, so I was kind of shocked to see her enjoying herself this much. She's telling a story to one of my mates and Tristis and laughing a lot. I'm glad to see her like this, it's a nice change. I'm especially liking the party clothes, a long-sleeved blue shirt and a tight miniskirt with thigh high black cat socks. She is _hot, _and I'm not just saying that cuz she's mine, I've seen plenty of other people checking her out. Speaking of which, I'd better go slap that mate of mine who needs to stop eyeing up my girl like his dinner.

There's a group of people who are playing really loud electronic music to keep everyone awake and a lot of people are drinking, including Tris. I walk over with two cokes and give one to Kat and start drinking the other myself. I sit down and pull her onto my lap and lays her head on my chest and I run my hand over her leg and kiss her head. I feel a hand running down my back. I shudder but not in a good way like when it's Kat.

"Well don't you two look cosy, hmm? Looks like the little girl is trying to play with the big boys" Zara cooed and ran her hand down my side. Kat growled at her and I pulled her hand away and tried to calm Kat. "What do you want?" she hisses and I hold her hand. Zara looks down at our arms and smirks at the matching bracelets then pushes Kat off my chest and wraps her arms around my neck. I can smell the alcohol.

"All that I want is for you to call. I've been waiting for a very long time and I am not a very patient woman." Kat pulls her arms from around me. "of course you aren't patient. Patience is a virtue, something you know nothing about. Leave us now, before I do something you really don't want me to do." I can almost see Kat tearing her to shreds. Zara smirks, "What's the little kitten gunna do, cute me to death? Lick me 'til I yelp?" Kat jumps over the bench and Zara legs it.

"Wow, looks like your kitty's got claws man." My mate pats her on the back and Tris puts an arm around her, mostly to hold her back from chasing after Zara. I pick her up and we sit back down on the bench and she burrows down into my chest and shivers, it is freezing out. I console her as best I can and wrap her up in my hoodie and hold her tightly. The clock hits 11:59pm GMT and everyone gets excited, even Kat. As we get closer to the countdown everyone stands up and Tris grabs party poppers for everyone. The countdown begins, I look over at Kat and see her beaming, wrapped in my hoodie and in that hot as hell miniskirt and I remember and old tradition that I'd never done before. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone sets off their poppers and I scoop Kat up in my arm and spin her around and kiss her passionately, it didn't feel like any we'd had before, it was awesome.

I didn't want that kiss to ever end, and it didn't for a long time. Everyone was "ooh"ing and teasing but I didn't care, it felt incredible. I'm not sure when the firework show started for everyone else, but for me it was the second our lips touched. It felt like a cold fire running through my veins, melting my heart but freezing my blood. I was very thankful of the hoodie then and smiled the rest of the night.

We all watched the fireworks together. Well, sort of, Tris was passed out on the bench and Matt's friend went home like a lot of other people. He carried me to the pier over the frozen lake and sat down. I sat on his lap the whole time and we did a lot of kissing as well as watching the fireworks. He put his hand on my waist and slid it along my side as we kissed until it was in my back pocket. I grinned and poked his chest, "I'm not sure if you're trying to get fresh with me or if you're stealing from me." He grins. "Neither, just admiring your skirt while enjoying having you be my girl." I kiss his neck and we hold hands as we watch the finale.

I look over at Tris still passed out on the bench while everyone else starts exiting. "It's starting to get late... we should get Tristis home soon."

"I'll help you get her home, c'mon then." We get down and each take one of Tristis' arms over our shoulders and start walking home. It seems to take longer than usual but we laugh and make jokes the whole way. Finally we made it home and I opened the door and we put Tris down on the couch and cover her over. He turns to leave I grab his hand and say, "Wanna stay the night?" I've never actually asked him to stay before... it usually just ends up happening. He turns around, smiles at me and says, "You mean you actually _want_ me to stay the night?" I nod and he grabs my hand and kisses my head.

We walk up to my room and I start changing into my nightclothes. "You were peeking weren't you?" I turn around and he grins at me. "Nope, you didn't tell me not to look, so it's not peeking, it's watching." I roll my eyes and he stands up and puts his hand on my hips and I rest my chin on his shoulder and he rests his on my head. He picks me up and lays me down on the bed and pulls off his shirt and gets in beside me and pulls me onto his chest. I lay my head down and listen to his heart beating and trace over his chest. He strokes my hair and I purr gently. He runs his hands down my sides and squeezes me tightly. "I love you so much." he whispers. "I love you too." I whisper back. He kisses me gently and I rub my nose against his and we both drift off.

I wake up and slowly open my eyes and look over and see Kat. This is one of the best feelings ever, seeing her first thing when I wake up. I reach into my pocket to get my phone and read the angry messages that mum probably sent when I didn't come home. It wasn't there. I checked all over the whole house and found nothing. I come back into Kat's room and look over at her. She's so sweet when she sleeps. I should probably get going but I don't want to just go without her knowing. I climb in beside her and shake her gently and whisper to her. She yawns quietly and stretches and wraps her arms around me. "Good morning, love. Have a nice sleep?" she nods and I kiss her. "I have to go now, ok?" I ask. She frowns but nods and I hug her and say I'll see her in a bit.

I walk him out to the door and kiss him goodbye and we arrange to meet at the lake at three. He says he may be a bit late but not to worry. "Wow," Tris murmured. "What?" I ask. "I'm just surprised you're wearing clothes is all. Didn't think he'd leave them on." I turn around slap her upside the head. "Owww, headache Kat, God, what is your problem?" I roll my eyes and make her some coffee to shut her up. I swear, she may be my guardian, but I'm the one taking care of her. Really I think they just chose her because we're closer than sisters and she's 19 and, even though I'm only two years younger and way more mature, she _is_ the legal adult of the situation.

I leave Tris to recover and I head up and take a shower. As the water runs over me and warms up my body I start to think about yesterday and all the things that went on. I am so sick of Zara's bull, she was bad before she had reason but now that I have Matt she has totally upped the anti. He doesn't want anything to do with her though, he pushed her away and she kept getting closer. She was probably drunk but that's no excuse for what she's done up until now. I was surprised at my behaviour, not that I exploded at her, but that I didn't beat her face in.

Other than her interrupting us, it was a pretty amazing night. And that kiss... man... it was amazing. I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to stay in his arms forever. I'm so glad he stayed the night. His heartbeat is just so comforting it makes me want to melt. I finish washing my hair and get out and wrap a towel around me and start downstairs to check on Tris. "Tristis, don't over do it on the ibuprofen okay?" I call out as I walk down the steps. I stop dead in my tracks in the hall and turn bright red as soon as Matt turns around and sees me.

"Nice outfit. I like it." He smiles. I giggle nervously, still red. "Maybe I should wear this tonight then, hm?" he puts his arm around me. "See, that's why I'm here. I don't think its gunna happen tonight." I sigh, "why not?" he smiles at me, walks me to the window and points outside. My eyes widen. The snow is falling like crazy. It looks like a blizzard. "Figured it'd be best if we waited until tomorrow... then the lake will be frozen and I can take you ice skating." He wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his chin on my head and I smile brightly up at him.

"I've never been ice skating before, this'll be epic, or should I say, _cool_." "I thought I was the corny one. Anyway, Tris told me you've never been and that you could use her skates and come with me. How about tomorrow at two, we can watch the sun setting then." I throw my arms around him and he kisses my neck. He ends up staying to watch a film and doesn't leave until the snow stops. I get dress, even though he mildly protested that I was perfectly fine in what I was wearing, we ate popcorn and drank hot chocolate and all squeezed together onto the couch. I really can't put words to how happy I am...


	6. 6 January's Jeopardy

**January's Jeopardy**

_I'm sorry for the iron shoes we nailed to you then left you in the rain alone. You sprinted away, to where I don't know. With God flowing through your bloodstream where your heart beats oh so slow... You swept all the red from my cheeks; I didn't hear you come back inside...And stand there in the thin winter light_

I decide to retrace my steps to find my phone. I stop at the chipper and ask if they've seen it anywhere, they say no. I search the path to Kat's house, still nothing. I look around the lake and don't find it. I decide to take the forest path back to my house and see if I dropped it there. I search everywhere I'd been and even some places I wasn't and finally trudge home head down and empty handed.

"Hey stranger, lose something, the kitten perhaps? She wasn't worth your time anyway... or maybe you're just looking for this." Zara says as she holds out my phone. I reach out and snatch it back, scowling. "Where did you get this?" I ask, knowing full well that she must have stolen it from me when she was being handsy. She hops off the gate. "Well, I found it on the bench after everyone left. Thought you might want it back, and if I gave it back I had an excuse to talk to you. I've noticed there's some bad blood going on. I figured we could talk it out like mature adults. Like, right now in the forest." I reluctantly agree and let her lead me through the forest.

I get up and take a shower, then I run into my room to pick out something to wear, since towels aren't appropriate ice skating clothes. I pull on a nice sweater dress and leggings then run down and get my coat. "Well somebody's dressed well." Tris remarks and hands me her skates. "I want to look nice. I'm going on a date. Shut up." I take the skates and blush heavily, but I'll admit I've been trying harder to look nice when we go out.

I quickly pull on my high boots and hurry to the lake. No sign of Matt. I sit on the bench and check my watch, there's still ten minutes. Maybe I should try skating by myself. I sit on the edge of the pier and start lacing up my ice skates then slowly wobble along the edge of the ice. I start to get the hang of it and accidentally push myself further out into more open ice. I look down and see water moving underneath my feet and start to get faint. I force myself to keep skating, starting back towards the shore.

Clouds start rolling in from the west and I continue skating back. Little cold rain droplets start to fall on my head and I giggle and start humming _Rain Drops Keep Fallin' on My Head_. I look around for Matt from where I'm standing. I start to stand on my tiptoes but my ice skates get the better of me and a fall face first into the cold ice. I reach up to wipe my nose and see that there's blood then I look down and see something much worse, cracks.

I stare at the cracks and panic. The rain starts falling harder and I can't stand up. I start to army crawl over the cracks. It's freezing cold, in getting soaked all over and I can't help but be scared. In my mind I pray and cry and on the outside I'm just trying to get over the cracks and back to shore. I ignore my body screaming at me to stop and get warm somehow and continue crawling.

I look up for hope and see Matt running towards me. I must be dreaming. I beam at him then look down again. With every step he took the cracks grew and grew. He didn't stop running yet. Horror fills my eyes and I try to scream but my voice is caught in my throat. I can't move anymore, I feel frozen solid. I watch the cracks grow and he stops quickly but it's too late and I can't do anything as the ice finally gives way.

The rain started pounding, the clouds turned nearly black, and the ice was cold as death. Death, it seems I am to meet with you again, friend. The question is: Will I go home again this time? There's a sickeningly loud creak and a splash as I plunge into the water. My first instinct is to gasp and my lungs fill with water. I panic and thrash, ignoring everything I'd ever read about situations like this. I start to cry underwater and try desperately to go up. But which way is up? I have no air left to try and find it. I doubt I can even stay conscious for much longer...

She kept talking nonstop as we walked through the forest. I could hear her, but I wasn't listening. I'd nod or make some kind of noise to seem interested but I didn't care, she didn't notice though. We trailed all around the forest and I checked my watch. I was going to be late to meet with Kat at the lake. I had to get down there as soon as I possibly can. "Hey, I kinda have to be somewhere right now, can we finish this later?" I ask starting to walk away not waiting for an answer. She follows me. "Wait, where are you going? We can finish talking on the way there!" I groan but she follows anyway.

I finally reach the edge of the forest and look out onto the lake and see Kat wobbling around on her skates. She's kinda far out in the water. She looks over and I wave and Zara huffs and crosses her arms angrily. "So _this_ is why we couldn't talk? Ridiculous..." I ignore her and look out at Kat just in time to see her fall on her face, not far from the pier. Poor kitty, I can see the blood from here, not to mention its starting to rain. I start to walk over to the shore. I see her scramble back, obviously afraid.

Then I hear it; a crack from the ice. The ice is weaker the further out you go. Her fall must have cracked it. She starts crawling on her stomach towards the shore. I don't know if she'll make it back in time. I start running clumsily on the ice, my feet falling hard. Kat looks up at me, first in joy, then in horror. I look down and realize what I've done...

The ice cracks open and Kat falls through into the water. I scream for her and run the last couple of yards towards where she was. I stamp the ice in and before I know what I'm doing I jump in after her. I look around, the water stinging my eyes horribly, and I see her. I swim down, reaching for her and grab her by the waist and start swimming back up to the hole. Everything is dark and murky and I try to find the hole I made in the ice.

After many attempts I find it and struggle to push Kat out of the water and onto the ice. I climb up beside her and try to get the water out of her lungs. I push on her stomach and some water starts spilling out but she still isn't breathing. I turn her over and look at her: small white face, blood red lips, and light brown freckles, just as always. But there was no life in her eyes or blush in her cheeks. I try to lift her to carry her to safety and warmth. I can't. I start to drag her along but I collapse onto the ice not far from the shore. It gets harder to breath and my mind feels like its melting into blackness. I hold her hand tightly in mine as the world starts to fade...

I wake up in an ambulance covered in blankets and hooked up to oxygen. There are all kinds of things plugged into me and there were people all around me. I try to ask about Kat but no one answers. I try over and over asking what happened to the girl beside me. They threaten to sedate me. I fall back and freak out for the rest of the ride to hospital.

After a two day stint in the hospital and a lecture about how hypothermia works I can go home. I'm covered in hot water bottles, blankets, and bedclothes. Really all the warmth I need is Kat in the bed beside me. I'm still worried about her. I've had no word about her from anyone yet. I should have told her to wait for me. I shouldn't have give in to that stupid cow, Zara, either. I should have paid attention to the signs. Rain means it's not freezing; the ice was melting, slowly but surely. All it needed was a push. I shouldn't have been so stupid. This is the second time I've let Kat get this close to dying and we've known each other for less than a year.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait to get back to school. I was scheduled to go back yesterday but the hospital said I need another week of bed rest. Now, usually I wouldn't complain, but I'm scared. I haven't heard from anyone about Kat. I want to go to school and ask around but I'm not allowed out of bed until Monday.

I lay on my side facing the wall and sulk. There's a knock at the door. I yell out to them thinking its mum, "Not now." the door opens and the person steps inside. I don't bother turning. They'll leave me alone if I ignore them. They lift up the covers and crawl in beside me and wrap their arms around me.

I recognise her smell and the feel of her arm. I turn around and squeeze her tightly. "Kat! I was so scared, where were you? It doesn't matter. I love you so much." I kiss her over and over and over and pull her as close as humanly possible. She groggily says she loves me over and over and thanks me for saving her. Mentally I want to stop and correct her and tell her all the ways it was my fault, but all I can think about is touching her and keeping her close. I kiss her passionately and slowly slide my hand up into her shirt and she giggles. I just can't hold back any longer and I just about tackle her and we end up spending the rest of the night making out and sleeping together, entangled in each others limbs.

When we wake up we spend the whole morning snuggling and relaying what happened to ourselves afterwards. Kat had the same treatment as me after two days in intensive care and was supposed to be in bed but Tristis figured she'd be warmer in bed with me than at home. I agree and make a mental note to thank Tristis. I hold Kat tightly in my arms and we lie in bed and talk and cuddle and stuff for the rest of the week. This is the best holiday ever...


	7. 7 February's Festivities

**7. February's Festivities**

_Turn me this salad if you would pretty lady please grab your martini and meet me at the balcony I could make a light show you could fake a melody, we can argue over where and when the symbol hits should be, and if you're partial to the night sky, if you're vaguely attracted to roof tops..._

Well, Matt and I were finally over our hypothermia and an awful lot closer than we used to be, if that is even possible. It's as if I've fallen for him all over again. We hold hands throughout school and he walks me home and stays as long as he can and then kisses me goodnight, if he even leaves. Now it's mid February and has been nearly 6 weeks since the accident and only two days from Valentine's Day. Tristis keeps pestering me asking what my plans are now that I finally have someone to celebrate with.

I keep telling her we aren't going to do anything. I had already told him I don't believe in Valentine's Day and that I didn't want him to do anything special, so it's true, I am not doing anything and I don't have plans. However, I do want to do something nice for him. I guess I'll just wear something nice and be sweet to him and ask him what he wants to do. He has really done so much for me, I want to make it up to him and show him how much he means to me and how much I love him. I just have no idea how to go about V-day. He's a guy so I can't do flowers and chocolate like I would for Tristis. Why can't I be better at social things, I just have no idea what's going on...

Anyway, today is Thursday, movie night, and I am supposed to meet him at the school gates so he can walk me home. I sit on the wall and think. I've noticed lately that I've changed a lot since that accident, not so much from the accident itself but because of _him_. I haven't been down as often and, despite being slightly more disfigured than before due to my trademark spinal curve, I've been a lot less shy and self-conscious than I was before.

I didn't notice this on my own though. It happened a week after we started back to school. I was leaning against the wall, wearing my usual school uniform: White blouse, blue cardigan, plaid skirt pulled up a bit more than usual, and a pair of navy and black striped knee high stocking. I had my auburn hair wrapped into a loose braid on either side of my face. I played with the bracelet Matt gave me as I waited for him. I looked around and saw two boys who bullied me nudging each other and pointing in amazement and pushing each other towards me. I turn away and sit on the wall, legs swinging on either side of it. One boy stood in front of me and leaned nervously back against the wall. I ignored him. The boy loudly cleared his throat and adjusted his tie before taking a step closer to me. I start to redden with anger.

"Hey, I'm Brian, BrianAmmadon. My friend here and I couldn't help but notice that you look..." I cut him off before he could finish speaking. "You say your name is Ammadon?" he nodded, "are you aware that Ammadon is derived from the gaelic word amadan meaning 'numbskull' or 'moron' thus implying that you are a numbskull and a moron. Not that I didn't already know that." I hopped down and started walking away on tiptoe. "Smart is the new sexy. She is promising, call me yeah, babe?" I whirled around to punch that moron's lights out (it wouldn't be the first time). My fists are clenched up and ready to go only to see than someone else had already beaten me to it.

Matt stood in front of one of the morons; fist still clenched as the guy he hit covered his face and started swearing. I was very surprised. "Stay away from my girl you dirtbags." My heart melted slightly at the sound of that. He turned and started asking me if I was ok. As his back was turned I noticed the guy he hit start running to hit him while he wasn't looking. I put out my hand and took the force of the blow then shook out my hand. That hurt a lot. I lashed out and punched him hard in the throat then kneed him in the groin. He fell into a pile and his friend started walking towards us and I turned and scowled at him. I've gotten into enough fights to know what to do. I moved a centimetre in his direction. He scampered like a rabbit.

I cradled my arm, it really hurt. Matt picks me up and tells me I shouldn't have done that. I smiled up at him and he nursed my poor arm. "Haven't I trashed you enough at chess for you to learn that when the king is in danger, the queen will always protect him however she can." He smiles and puts me on his back and gives me a piggyback home. "You do realise I hurt my arm not my legs, right?" he smiled and kept walking. When we went inside he bandaged my arm and gave me some ice and snuggled with me all night. It was Friday so he could stay over and he carried me up to bed and kept me warm by wrapping his arms around me tightly, just like when we had hypothermia...

I snap back into the present as I wait on the wall in my kitten knee highs and wait. _I_ _really am different now. I feel prettier, like I'm glowing._ I look over at him as he walks towards me and holds my hand. _I think he finally managed to melt my shell, or a butterfly exiting her cocoon._ We walk home hand in hand and flop on the couch. He sets up the movie and I cover the popcorn. We snuggle close and I lay my head on his chest and he kisses my head and rests his chin on it. I hold his hand and interlace our fingers and he kisses them each and then kisses my hand. He's so good to me; I really wanna make it up to him.

I rest my face in her hair and breathe in her cherry shampoo. She smells really nice. I just wish I didn't smell so horrible, then she'd get to feel this too. I stroke her hair; it's gotten a lot longer since we first met. "So, what do you want to do for Valentine's Day babe?" I ask nervously. "Nothing..." she whispered. I sighed. I really wish she wouldn't be like this. I didn't used to care about Valentine's Day but now things are different. I have her to love. She doesn't let me fawn over her much, baby her, sometimes, play with her, definitely, but I need a good excuse to get to treat her like my princess, at least for a day. I just stay quiet. "I've always hated Valentine's Day... I've always been alone. Not even my family did anything to make it special. So I gave up on it. I don't want you to feel that you need to do anything more. You've already done enough by loving me everyday."

She nuzzles into my chest and I decide my plan. She's going to get an epic valentines day whether she wants it or not. The cogs are shaking off their dust and whirring in my head as I start planning and thinking of what to do. I hold her tightly and kiss her head and wish I was smarter. I think it will definitely be a surprise for both of us. I wish I knew what to do that wouldn't make her upset. I know her well, but this is completely new. I know she's not really the type to desire to be constantly waited on hand and foot all the time but...

The door opens and Tristis enters and kisses Kat and me on the head. That's it, I'll ask Tristis! I want to jump straight up and question her, but I'm quite comfy here. The movie is almost over now and I can tell Kat is getting sleepy. I play with her hair as she purrs and listens to my heart. After a while the purring fades to light snoring. She is just too absolutely adorable. Why do I have to be so stupid? She deserves better than me. I know she does, but I'm glad she doesn't. I finally decide to carry her up to bed. I pull back the covers and come back down and carry her up and lay her down on her bed. I tuck her in and watch her sleep for a while and just can't resist stroking her face gently. She's so cute when she sleeps. I kiss her gently then head downstairs.

"Hey Tristis, can I ask you some questions?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen. She thinks about it for a second and then nods then she asks, "What do you need to know?" She sits at the counter. I sit beside her. "I want to do something nice for Kat for Valentine's Day, but she says she doesn't want me to do anything. So instead I want to surprise her instead, but I don't know what she'd like. Do you have any ideas?" I see a glint in her eyes and she grabs a pad and pencil and starts writing, "You're in luck. I have a couple ideas up my sleeves." We go over the plans and ideas and jot them down and plan to start setting up tomorrow.

I wake up and stretch then roll out of bed. I land with a thump on the floor and bite my tongue. I go to my closet and start getting dress then notice that there is a blood stain on my shirt from my tongue. I go downstairs in time to see Tris down the last of the milk and run out saying she won't be back until late. I look at the clock and see that I have ten minutes to get to school and start running. Today is off to a bad start.

I finally make it to school seconds before the late bell and rush to class without a chance to find him all through the morning. I managed to get three tests and forget my gym clothes though. I finally get a chance to stop for lunch then realise that I forgot to bring a food with me. I guess I'll just starve then. I finally tracked Matt down and he gives me half of his sandwich and we sit together. He's very fidgety and keeps checking his phone. We don't get to talk much and he jumps up and runs to class as soon as the bell rings.

After an eternity school is finally over. I wait at the gate for Matt for ages and he doesn't turn up. I sit there and finally see him. He hops over the gate and grabs some girl's hand and they run towards the lake. He turns around and sees me and runs. My heart sinks and I trudge home watery eyed. I check my phone and get a message from him saying I'll understand everything tomorrow. I don't reply. I just curl up in bed. I don't fall asleep until late. I get another text. He says he loves me.


	8. 8 Valentine's Virtuosity

**8. Valentine's Virtuosity**

_She sings from somewhere you cant see, she sits at the top of the greenest tree, she leaves an aroma that calls your love, she's just the girl that you want,"_

It's the day before V-day. I'm awaiting the message from Tris telling me that she has everything we need to set up for tomorrow. I head to school and can't wait to see Kat. I look around for her once I get to the school grounds, checking my phone every so often. I sit on a bench at the lake where we usually hang out and wait for her for ages. I don't see her and finally just head in to class.

Eventually lunch rolls around and still no message from Tris. After a bit Kat comes by. She hasn't got a lunch so I give her half of my sandwich and we chill for a while. My phone vibrates and I check it. Tris has everything. I don't want Kat to notice so I run to get to class early before I text her back and tell her I'd meet her at the side of the school to put together Kat's perfect Valentine's Day.

I go to hop the fence after school and Tris steadies my arm. I look over and see Kat. She looks...weird. Like somebody just stabbed her then kicked her face in. I look down and realise that she probably can't tell its Tristis holding my arm. I jump don from the gate and we start legging it. I text her once we reach the lake. We spend the rest of the night setting up for tomorrow and I go home and set up some music then send Kat a goodnight text. I'm so excited. I hope she's ok...

I wake up later than usual. I check my phone and see that it's noon. I also see a message from Matt. It's a picture of a rose petal. I throw my phone on the bed and get up and straighten my nightdress. I look down and am shocked to find a line of rose petals leading out the door. I bend down and pick them up one by one as they lead out the door to the bathroom. I walk in and gasp. The blinds are closed and there are candles everywhere and the bath is running. Matt's kneeling beside it checking the temperature. I drop the petals in shock and look at him.

"Y-you...did you do this?!" I ask eyes wide. He smiles and stands. "Well, I'll admit, I had a little help from Tristis. Ok a lot of help. She helped me set up everything that we are going to do today." Everything seemed to click. So that's what he meant by understanding everything today. I throw my arms around him and kiss him gently and smile at him. "Okay my princess, shall I leave you to your bath now?" he asks sweetly. "Why don't you join me good sir? The water is perfect." I respond, deciding to let him enjoy a little bit of an average man's Valentine's Day. "If you're sure..." He pulls off his shirt and I start getting undressed. I hear him mutter under his breath and giggle and get in, surrounded by bubbles. It feels so nice and warm. He is the best. I beckon him to come in and he stands there staring at me then snaps back into reality then finishes getting undressed.

He holds his breath and locks the door then gets in beside me. He looks a little pained, I ask if the water's too hot and he says that's not what's too hot for him. I giggle and he turns bright red. "Are you having a dilemma?" I ask. He nods and I bite my lip and he rolls on top of me and kisses me passionately.

I can feel why he tried to keep his distance. He seems to be enjoying himself, feeling me up and what not. He's such a boy, not to say that I didn't definitely egg him on a lot. It's comfortable and sweet so we stay in the tub for at least two hours making out and snuggling. Eventually Tris bangs on the door and tells Matt to hurry up to phase two of the plan so she can pee. We laugh and get out and get dressed.

We start walking towards the forest and once we reach the lake he covers my eyes with a scarf and leads me by the hand. I feel so excited. "You are so corny you know that?" I smirk but inside I'm brimming over. Nobody has done anything like this for me before. Finally he takes off the scarf. There's a little wooden table and two plastic chairs in the clearing by the lakes edge. There are two lovely plates with curry chips and rice on them and two cans of coke. There's a string of battery powered fairy lights pinned to a tree and another set wound around the table. It's the sweetest, corniest thing anyone has ever done for me. I squeal and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him.

We sit down to eat and music is playing, all my favourite songs. "This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me you know, and I don't just mean on Valentine's Day either. It really means a lot to me. I just wish I knew a good way to thank you." He smiled at me warmly. "I'm glad you like it. I really wanted a chance to treat you like my princess, not just think of you that way. I needed some help from Tris though. I didn't know what you'd like or what would make you unhappy. She did a lot, no need to thank me." I hug him across the tiny table and kiss his cheek. He takes my hand and pulls me up.

"I have one last surprise for you _Princess_." I lift her into my arms and carry her and we sit on a bench facing the sunset. She holds my hand. "I love you so much, you know that?" she kissed my neck. I kiss her lips. "Yes I did know that, but did you know I love you so much more?" I grin. She looks so beautiful tonight. She's only wearing a short blue skirt, stripy blue knee highs and my grey hoodie but she wears them well. Especially cuz her legs are hot. I slowly run my hand along her legs and my other down her back and into the back of her shirt. She rolls her eyes. "You're such a guy." She kisses me anyway and we watch the sun dip below the horizon.

I rest my chin on her shoulder and gently start to suck on her neck. "We should be heading home soon..." she whispered. I shook my head. "Only if you'll come home with me," I murmured. I didn't expect her to hear me, but she did. She kind of tensed up for some reason... Oh... oops... "I don't mean that way, Kat, I swear. I just don't want to let you go. I promise that's all." I start apologizing. She stands up and starts walking. "Kat, no, come back!" I chase after her and see her picking up her jacket. "Are we going or not?" I smile and pick her up and we walk home together.

When we come in mum doesn't question anything. She probably assumed Kat would be over tonight. She did give me that 'be good' look of hers. I roll my eyes. Of course I'll be good. Mainly cuz Kat doesn't want to stop 'being good' yet. I sit her down on the bed and take off my red t-shirt and throw it down. I turn around just as she is pulling her shirt up. Oh my God... She turns away and pulls it off and folds it then starts taking off her skirt. Right that's it. I can take anymore. I wrap my arms tightly around her from behind holding her body close to mine and kiss down her neck and suck on it gently. I reach down and unhook her bra and pull it off and she grabs for a shirt and ends up pulling mine on but I've already seen them. I bite her neck gently and she cries softly.

Well there goes all my self control. I push her down on the bed and start kissing her and running my hands up her front and down her back into the back of her pants. She fights it a little at first then gets into it more and pulls me closer. It gets very hot very quick and I pull the covers over us and we stay there for the rest of the night together, holding on to each other for dear life. I'm definitely starting to love Valentine's Day after all...


	9. 9 Birthday Business

**9. Birthday Business**

_If you're partial to the night sky, and if you're vaguely attracted to rooftops..._

It is March 1st, the day before his 18th birthday. It's also the day before the birthday celebration I have planned for him. It's nothing too over the top. I've decided to make him dinner, and a cake, and then we'll go on a walk and I'll lead him to the boathouse which is where his surprise is. Right now, however, I have to go into the city to get everything. Tris was going to take me but she has to work, luckily I only work Monday-Thursday so I have time _and_ money for once. Just in time for the Friday sales.

I stand at the bus stop for the 3:35 bus with fare in hand. It's only twenty past so I'll have to wait a while. There's no bench so I lean against the pole marking the bus stop and pull the collar of my jacket up. It's freezing... I guess someone forgot to tell Ireland that its spring. It's only 3̊C and I'm very cold.

I lay my head back and feel my back warming up as arms wrap around my waist. I shiver slightly and turn around and nuzzle into him. "What are you doing waiting for the bus? You're not leaving me before my birthday are you?" he asked half jokingly. I kiss his neck and sigh. "Of course not love, I just have to run some errands in the city, okay?" "The city is a dangerous place, Kat. You should have someone go along to protect you. I got worried enough when you legged it right after school."

I stand up straight and bring myself to my full height and cross my arms trying to look menacing but it's hard to seem scary when you're five feet tall, have puppy dog eyes and kitten pout. He just laughs at me. "Kitty, you're only making it worse for yourself. I'd be too worried that someone else would see how cute you are and take you for himself." He pulls off his hat and pulls it down on my head and kisses my forehead and holds my hand.

I guess there's no way that I'll get rid of him. He pulls out his fare and we get on the bus after it arrives five minutes late. We get on the top deck and cuddle in the front seat. He pulls me on his lap and I turn sideway and lay my head on his chest and purr gently and he smiles. "You know, I love it when you do that, Kitty, almost as much as I love you." I roll my eyes at the sheer corniness but smile and say I love him too.

The bus ride comes to an end and I walk towards the auto shop. "Why are we going in here?" he asks and I proceed to get a cheap battery to plug everything into tomorrow. He stares quizzically as I do so but he doesn't question me. Afterwards I head to another store and get a plain white cotton bed sheet and then get a bulb for the library's projector which I'm borrowing. I can tell how confused he is and I just giggle as he cocks his head at every thing I buy. I pat him on the head and say, "You look like a dog when you do that. Good dog."

"So where does my good dog want to go for lunch?" she asks holding my hand and skipping. I smile and wrap an arm around her. "You should pick for me." She decide on McDonald's, which is really where I wanted to eat, and we walk on and order lunch then sit to eat. "So, what's with the stuff you're getting? I mean, I'm not judging but c'mon, that's not what you normally get." I question her curiously. "You'll see tomorrow." she smiles and winks at me then finishes off her lunch and throws away the rubbish.

I help her carry the bags to the bus stop and we sit there and wait. She hums happily and swings her legs and I watch her in amusement. "What are you so happy about?" She smiles and respond with a simple "You'll see." I pick her up and sit her on my lap and wrap my arms around her. I wonder what she has planned for tomorrow...

The bus arrives and we sit in the back and talk about everything. "So are you excited about tomorrow?" she asks me. I stare blankly then realisation hits me like a brick. I am retarded. Tomorrow's my birthday. "Hehe, yeah of course I'm excited. Who wouldn't be, I'm going to be 18, I knew it. So this stuff is for some kind of birthday surprise then is it?" "Yup, but it's a surprise so I can't tell you, also, I'm going to be busy tonight so spend time with your family okay?" she stares out the window. "Okay..." The bus stops and we get off and I offer to walk her home.

"I'm not going home. I told you, I'm going to be busy tonight. I have to meet up with someone in two hours and I want to get ready. I'll see you tomorrow though okay?" she smiles. I shrug and kiss her goodnight then walk home wondering what's going on.

I walk through the forest and sigh. It's getting dark pretty fast. I hurry along to the boat house with my stuff and start setting up. I pin up the battery powered fairy lights that Tristis had then turn them on. I grin. "Well, I can see now, lets gets some music on." I turn on my iPod and I hang up the sheet. I set up the projector and leave the battery in its box then turn off the lights go outside close the door and secure it with a padlock. I put the key on my loop and skip to the shop to get snacks.

I unlock my front door and walk inside with two bags and two twelve packs of monster. It is so unbelievably heavy. I call for Tris. "Tristis, come help." She comes down and her eyes fill with eagerness. "Tris, it's not for you it's for tomorrow. You can have it then." I tell her. "That's mean. Not even one can? Just one, oh pleeeeeease?" she pleads. "Oh ok, just one." I give her one can and then put everything in a box beside the door and remind her to bring down the snacks during the final preparations then left the key on top and dragged myself into bed. I'll make the cake tomorrow; it's already one in the morning...

I wake up Saturday afternoon with the tempting smell of sausages and rashers in the air. I walk down stairs blearily and sit down and yawn. "Happy birthday pet, it's a late breakfast for you." Mum gives me a plate and I thank her then sit and eat. There are footsteps from upstairs and my brother comes down with a bag. He pats me on the head and says happy birthday then heads for the door saying he had to go meet a girl. I highly doubt that. Although, he has been messaging someone a lot but no, he would've told me if he got a girlfriend.

My phone goes off and I know instantly that Kat's calling me. "Hey Kitty, what's up?" I ask smiling broadly. The line goes dead. "You're ring tone is seriously hey baby?" she strides into the kitchen. "No, my ringtone is the derp song. I have a special one for you. You don't have something like that for me?" I ask then tap on my phone a couple times and call her back. It goes off and she freezes and hangs up. " , nice, I like it." I grin at her cheekily and she blushes and slams something down on the table and jumps at me. I slide under the table and peep up. Okay, Kat _really_ doesn't like to be embarrassed. "What's in the box then." I ask sheepishly. She hops down quietly. "That's your birthday cake. I made it this morning. Thankfully you sleep until two on the weekends. I woke up at seven so I'd have time to decorate it properly." She smiles and throws her arms around me. "You're going to love it! I hope..."

I reach to open the lid and she bats my hand and shakes her head. "Ah ah ah, not until after lunch, shall we go to my house?" she heads off. "Actually, I just ate breakfast, and mum wants me to eat with her." I say. "Well then she can come too but I already have everything started. I only have the cake here for... hey where's your brother?" she asks suddenly. "He's gone out to 'meet a girl' or something." I tell her. She mutters under her breath and stamps her foot on the floor.

"Alright then, let's get moving shall we? Allons-y!" she marches towards the door. I laugh and grab her arm and pull her in for a hug. "You've been watching Dr. Who again haven't you?" I ask and she nods. "Well don't rush, I still need to tell mum, and I've missed you. Lets lay down on the couch and cuddle." I pick her up and she squirms and lay back on the couch with her. She nuzzles into my and whispers in my ear. "Happy birthday love, I hope you like the surprise I have for you tonight." I stroke her hair and listen to her purring for a while.

She kisses my neck then gets up and stretches with a big yawn. "W-what's wrong kitty? Don't you want cuddles?" I ask getting up too. "You've got to go tell your mum I've made dinner. And I have to keep moving. Allons-y" she pushes herself off my legs and starts walking off. "You're seriously obsessed." I call out after her. She peeps her head out. "Only while I'm watching it," she smirks and walks around in circles around the table. Mum walks in and looks at her curiously.

"Is she okay?" mum asks nervously. I laugh and smile then nod. "She's perfectly fine, she's just over tired. My guess she was up all night watching telly. Anyway, instead of napping like she should have been, she prepared a birthday dinner at her house for me." I grab her shoulders. "Well that's nice but... I was hoping to eat with you on your birthday..." "You're invited too though, I cooked everything accordingly. I'm not trying to take him from you or anything." Kat smiled sweetly. Mum agrees and Kat says she has to run home to finish preparations. I tell her we'll be over at four. I give her a kiss and she heads back home and I go upstairs to get dressed...

I walk home sluggishly and plug in my earphones, hoping some loud music will help. I only got about five hours sleep last night and I've been working hard all week, I've barely had time to think. I stumble through the door and go into the kitchen, I set my timers and put everything in to cook then put the cake in the fridge. It should be done around four.

I wipe down the counters then the room starts spinning. I hold onto the table and close my eyes tightly. I hear sounds whirling around in my head. Everything feels fainter. I can feel the earth spinning under my feet at over a thousand miles an hour. I lie on the floor and curl up with my eyes closed and everything just fades out into blackness...

I walk up to Kat's house with mum for dinner humming happily. "Tell me more about Kat. I don't really know much about her." she asks. "Well, first and foremost, I love her very much. Other than that, she's short, mature, clever, adorable, catlike, and lives with her guardian Tristis, though Kat kinda takes better care of her than the other way around. They are best friends though. She's a special girl, in more ways than one..." I remember all the things Kat's ever told me about her past, all the things I've seen happen to her, and all the things I caused.

"She sounds very special to you. It also seems like she put a big effort into making you feel special today. Your brother said they've been planning tonight's surprise for weeks." I stop. So he was in on it too? That may explain this girl he was going to meet. Kat was with me but Tris must be in on it too. Is it really this big a thing? I smile broadly, her worked paid off. I feel quite loved, and very special.

I open the door and walk into the kitchen to see her lying on the floor asleep. I shake my head. Mum comes in and laughs. The timers go off and I try to wake Kat up, she doesn't budge. I lay my head on her stomach and continue poking her in the face. Mum looks at me like I'm crazy and I shrug and smile until... _BAM!_ She punched me in the face. "I've told you not to do that..." she mutters and I help her up and she rushes to get everything out of the oven.

She set everything and we all sit down and start eating. We chat and laugh for a while. The food is quite delicious. I give her a kiss on the cheek for a job well done. She clears away the dishes and proposes we go for a walk in the forest. Mum says that she'll see us later. I wrap Kat's coat around her and we head off towards the forest hand-in-hand. She seems very happy and excited. I try asking her what's up and she just puts her finger on her lip and skips along happily.

I walk along the forest with him for nearly half an hour until my phone went off. I grab it and quickly read the message and smile. Tristis says that everyone is ready and waiting. I stop and change direction suddenly dragging him along behind me. We walk along with a fast gait. "Where are we going, Kitty?" he asks. I smile silently as we walk quickly towards the boathouse.

I turn down the path to get in and knock on the door, motioning for him to join me. I hear something click and I squeeze his hand. The lights are all off and we walk in. Suddenly all the lights go on and everyone surges forward and tackles him. He weakly reaches his hand up and I pull him to his feet and smile broadly at him. I throw my arms around him. "Surprise!" I yell happily, "Do you like it?" He smiles at me warmly. "Nope, I love it."

I can't believe she did all this without me, not to mention for me. I'm not surprised though. It's a fantastic spread; music, games, monster... I mean I could think of better ways to spend it but this is nice. I take her hand and we walk over to one of the bean bags and I sit down pulling her down on my lap. I kiss her head and take a controller and we stay that way for most of the night.

After an hour or so there's a knock on the door and mum comes in with the cake Kat made. They light the candles and everyone sings just like every other birthday I've had since I can remember, but for some reason this one seems different. It feels better. I've had good ones before but this is better some how. I guess I just feel more loved, my friends, family, my girlfriend, they all put this together to make me feel loved. I must say, it worked.

"Make a wish love!" Kat whispers as everyone stops singing. "Alright, I wish..." she cuts in before I finish making my birthday wish. "You can't tell anyone what you wish is or it won't come true," she stares up at me wide-eyed and serious. I just laugh and close my eyes and make a wish to myself then blow out the candles. Everyone claps and Kat jumps up and throws her arms around me and I give her a big kiss to say thank you. That kiss also felt better then usual, which is why I was so reluctant to end it.

We all dig into the cake, except Kat, and everyone loves it but no matter how hard I try she just won't eat anything today. I finally just give up and pull her back onto my lap and rest my chin on her head and she rests against my chest. After a while I recognise the familiar purring sound and realise that she's fallen asleep. I wonder if she knows she snores. I think I could hold her like this forever. Maybe I should. I don't think I'd mind being hers forever, I just don't see why she'd want me for that long. As if reading my mind she stirs a little and whispers "I love you" then falls back to sleep. I smile and kiss her head and enjoy the rest of my party until one by one everyone starts to leave until it's just me, Kat, my brother, a passed out Tristis and mum.

I gently lay Kat on the cushion and start packing stuff away in boxes and everyone else helps out. When we finish I pick up Kat and look over at mum. She sighs, "Well, our house is closer than theirs and they're both out cold, so alright." We set off home me with Kat on my back and my brother stuck trailing behind us with Tristis over his shoulders. I'm going to laugh if she pukes from him carrying her that way after drinking so much. I think I'm probably the only one who didn't drink anything. Except Kat, she didn't drink anything at all, or eat anything. I have no idea what's wrong but at least now she's sleeping at last.

We make it home without Tris puking. She gets flopped on the couch and I carry Kat up and lay her in bed. I pull off my shirt and climb in beside her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my chest. She wakes up a little and gazes up at me and smiles weakly and yawns. "Happy birthday, I love you..." she whispers drowsily and lays her head on my chest and traces over my heart. I hold her tightly and slowly drift off to sleep together, but not before I catch her purring.


End file.
